Date:Tuesday November 21 2006
Following his move to Stoke literally minutes after upsetting a man you shouldn't upset, Liam Lawrence has been the big man and uttered his grumblings at his circumstances on Wearside - now that he's 200 miles across the country.
After allegedly recommending his personal hair salon to boss Roy Keane to get his emerging mafia-esque grey wings sorted, Keano took exception and shipped him out pronto.
And now Lenny, whose superstar appearance has always at least given the impression that he'd be a class act on the pitch, has voiced his displeasure regarding his recent time at Sunderland and says he wants to stay at Stoke,
'Hopefully, I can do well and earn a deal,' Lawrence told the local Stoke rag. 'It wasn't a difficult decision to come to. I've always liked Stoke because they've always been a good side.'
Despite his insistance that the decision to make the move was a simple one, it is believed that a slightly displeased Roy Keane may have made the decision a bit easier for him.
He joins fellow Sunderland loanee Rory Delap at the Britannia Stadium,
'I spoke to Rory Delap and he said it's a good club going places, while Tony Pulis was also positive and ambitious about what is happening here.
'I'm more of a right midfielder because I can get down the wing to get crosses in, but I can also link up with the midfield. I need a run in the team and a manager who believes in me.
'I need some 90 minutes under my belt, then my confidence will come and Stoke fans will see what a good player I am.'
Lawrence - not actually a class act - played 12 of Sunderland's 17 games this season, scoring 0 goals and making 0 assists.
He was also part of the worst ever top flight side in the history of the game. That's nearly 150 years of football. However, the poor boy seems a little bemused as to why the manager - notorious for his ruthless high standards - has got rid of him and several of his colleagues from McCarthy's reign.
For those wondering, the bust-up was not actually about his views on hair die, but it is believed that Lenny the wing wizard wasn't happy at being substituted in an 11-a-side training match, and promptly told Keane to F*^% off.
The irony being that Keane probably intended to sub Lawrence in order to rest him for the weekend. Oops...
Keane replied that he'd deal with him later and Lawrence - who had his mother stitch the name 'Lenny' in his white boots - now finds himself at Stoke.
Some may see this punishment as a bit on the light side considering General Keano has maimed people for less. But is it coincidence that only hours after Rory Delap made the same move he is now crocked for the season?
Well yes, of course it is, and I wouldn't suggest anything else cos i'll get done for libel.
In all seriousness Liam should be thanked for punching above his weight for several seasons, with (blonde) highlights including some stonking goals at Newcastle, Fulham and at home to Wolves in our promotion season.
Unfortunately it seems that for a player with little real pace or ability to beat a man, he's gone and done a Thornton on us, who's actual talent also didn't match his inflated ego.
Doncaster may well have a new right winger soon...
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